How to practice gratitude when it feels like things are falling apart
If you're anything like me, you might still be reeling from the events of the past two years - and the last two weeks - and with our thoughts and feelings in overdrive, our fight or flight responses on red alert, and our priorities shifting like sand under our feet, even our normal self-care routine can feel challenging.
At times like these, when the big events of the world can make us feel so small, out of control and on the defensive, I find solace in the small, everyday things that bring me joy.
And while I have never been more glad of every single one of my eight Happiness Habits which are sustaining me on a daily basis, recording my gratitude practice and daily successes are particularly soothing, bookending my day with positivity.
The warmth of the sun shining into the glass walkway in my house, the kitten-soft fur on Ziggy's head, the chirping of the ducks as they waddle across our flooded lawn searching for worms, a hot vanilla almond latte with a good book, a piano tune in the background while I write.
Hitting my daily steps, finishing another Spanish lesson on Babbel, pushing just one more rep in the gym, completing a manuscript, cooking a meal for the family, helping my Mama to declutter her house.
So many small, beautiful things to be grateful for, to celebrate.
But, it's human nature with so much heartache unfolding around us, on the news and on social media on an hourly basis, to feel numb from the amount of information bombarding our senses. Add to that everyday challenges when the morning starts with a sleepless night, the kids are spitting fire at each other, and all that lands in your inbox is bills and finding something to be grateful for can fall to the bottom of the list.
So on days when I'm struggling to see the silver lining on my clouds, I start small and use my senses.
On those tricky days, or if I start to fall into a pattern with what I'm feeling grateful for, I use this four-step exercise that I share in chapter six of The Happiness Habits Transformation to freshen up my gratitude by getting specific.
Step one: Be present here and now
Stop what you're doing and focus in on what you can see, smell, touch, taste or hear.
It could be the sun shining through a cloud and highlighting a bird on a branch in the garden; the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen; the touch of a soft scarf around your neck; the taste of a crisp cold apple; the ticking of the clock on the wall.
Step two: Appreciate
Whatever it is that catches your attention, say to yourself: “right here, right now I have something to be grateful for.”
Step three: Past & Future
Now that you've shifted your attitude try to broaden your focus out a little and find two other things that you can be grateful for - one in the past and one in the future.
Step Four: Make a record
Write down the three things you're grateful for and why you feel that way. If you want to try this exercise now, you can make some notes below or in your journal.
When we’re not practising gratitude it’s easy to approach life from a place of scarcity, anxiety and vulnerability. Start small, breathe in appreciation and watch it ripple out into the rest of your day.
Other things you can do today to soothe your mind:
Give yourself permission to rest
Drink plenty of water to flush out toxins and replenish your cells
Eat nourishing food that doesn't give you sugar or caffeine highs (and lows)
Move your body in whatever way makes you smile to get your heart pumping
Limit the flow of information hitting your sense (turn off news alerts on your phone, read Newsround which is sanitised for children)
Set yourself smaller goals and work towards them in your own time
Learn something new and share it with someone else
Smile at a memory that brings you joy
Some resources I'm loving at the moment:
Soothing background music and meditations at Calm.com
Learning a new language with Babbel (get 1 month free here)
Recording my Happiness Habits in my Goal Crazy Journal
Hitting my daily water intake with my plastic-free, sustainable One Green Bottle
And finally, please pay your gratitude forward by donating what you can to one of the organisations helping to protect people caught up in the crisis in Ukraine and its bordering countries. We’ve donated to the Red Cross here.
