Clear the clutter, boost your focus and grab your goals

Could too much mental and physical clutter be stopping you from focusing and grabbing your goals?

Let me share a little story with you. Two Buddhist monks return to their monastery after the rains. They reach a swollen river and in front of them is a beautiful woman in a delicate silk kimono, distressed because she is unable to cross the river by herself. The older monk scoops her up, carries her safely to the other side and the two monks continue on their way in silence. Later, as the monks reach their destination, the younger monk having fumed for the last 5 hours finally bursts out, "How could you do it? We're not allowed to touch a woman!” The older monk, surprised, replies, "I put her down 5 hours ago, but you are still carrying her with you."

Are you like the younger monk in this story, holding onto things, whether that’s physical things or something that you feel angry, hurt, guilty about, that’s clouding your mind and preventing you from reaching your goals or from fully enjoying your life?

Most of us don’t say goodbye enough. We have so much clutter in our lives that it’s no wonder we struggle to focus. This can be physical objects, spaces you spend time in, relationships, habits, experiences, thoughts, ‘shoulds’ on your to-do lists, frustrations that we tolerate…

And it isn’t just the stuff you can see because things you stuff into cupboards, things that don’t serve you, or you don’t love or use can also BURDEN you.

So why don’t we say goodbye?

Often we think that leaving something behind invalidates that experience or relationship or thing and makes us feel guilty. We feel regret and guilt about the amount of money or time we spent.

So we hang on to it, dragging it around with us to lessen that guilt and regret because this isn’t a nice feeling and our brain ALWAYS wants us to move away from feelings that are uncomfortable. Our brain likes to keep doing what it’s always done. It likes normality. It likes what’s known, the familiar. Even if we know it isn’t serving us, there is some comfort in it.

Sometimes we also avoid making a decision. Decisions take effort and there is already SO much going on in our lives we just don’t have the energy to make those decisions and they become overwhelming.

Then are the secondary BENEFITS of hanging on to things that we no longer need.

Ok, so I hear you thinking what? There’s no benefit to these things! But there must be or you wouldn't be holding on to it. Ask yourself, "What do I gain by keeping hold of this?" Perhaps by holding on to resentments, anger or hurt you don't need to accept your part in a situation. Or perhaps it stops you from feeling how hurt you really were, maybe you get to stay in 'the right' or avoid dealing with someone.

The point is that clutter, whether it's mental or physical, wears us down, slows us down and makes it harder to focus on our goals and plans. We need to learn to let these things GO by saying goodbye so we can say HELLO to other things that will serve us, our lives and businesses, better.

And sometimes we need to say goodbye to parts of OURSELVES in order to move forward and grow into the next version of ourselves.

So how do you know when to say goodbye? Here are some questions to ask yourself:

“Would I buy this again?”

“Do I really need this in my life?”

“When is the last time I used this?”

“How is this serving/helping me?”

“Would I be friends with this person if I met them for the first time?”

“Would I sign up for this from scratch now?”

“Would I CHOOSE to think this way now?”

“Would I want to be this weight?”

“Would I like to be this active/inactive?”

“Would I speak to someone else the way I talk to myself?”

Letting go usually involves some form of forgiveness or acceptance - whether it's of yourself, someone else, a situation or even an unknown third party. It doesn't mean we condone a situation or behaviour, it's about lightening OUR load. When we let go of clutter or whatever is bothering us we set ourselves free and, importantly, we get to reclaim that energy for ourselves and our ideal life and business goals.